Friday, April 20, 2012

Nee's Struggle

“For years after my conversion I tried to reckon as I had been taught. 
I reckoned from 1920 to 1927. The more I reckoned that I was dead
to sin, the more alive it clearly was. I simply could not believe myself
dead, and I could not produce death. Whenever I sought help I was
told to look at Romans 6:11, and the more I read Romans 6:11 and 
tried to reckon, the further death was: I could not get it. I fully 
appreciated the teaching that I must reckon, but I could not make 
out why nothing resulted from it. I have to confess that for months I
was troubled. I said to the Lord, ‘If this is not clear, if I cannot be
brought to see this which is so very fundamental, I will cease to do
anything. I will not preach any more; I will not go out to serve Thee
any more; I want first of all to get thoroughly clear here.’ For months
I was seeking and sometimes fasted, but nothing came through.”
Watchman Nee

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