Turning Points

There have been many turning points for me over the 41 plus

years of marriage. Sometimes they come as “ah ha” moments

where the scales drop from my eyes suddenly and I receive 

insights--related to me mostly. The biggest turning point in 

recent years, and which continues to grow, is my view of God.

He has gone from a distant, uninvolved God who dwells “out

there” somewhere, to a very real, very present Papa. Glen and

I recently attended a marriage renewal weekend where truth I 

have heard before was activated--the “ah ha.” I heard that Glen

was not designed to meet my needs. My source is God alone.

God’s desire for me is to minister to Glen and leave the outcome

to God. God’s grace is sufficient for me to be able to walk this

out on a daily basis. God wants me to be so occupied with Him,

so full of Him, that Glen becomes irrelevant in terms of my 

happiness. Wow!

Isaiah 43:18, 19 says:

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.”

God is Able

We are coming up on 42 years of Marriage--to each other. It has been

a hard slog, but divorce was never an option for either one of us. I was

38 and married ten years before I decided to grow up and take responsi-

bility for myself and my actions.Until then I was perfectly content to let

someone else handle my life including the training of my children. After

all what is the church for? The decision to grow up and become an adult

was a major turning point but change came rather slowly. I felt inadequate

on the inside as one who only had value to God, but who often doubted

God’s pleasure and acceptance of her. I was deeply into performance, but

things kept coming up to show me how poorly I played that game! The 

unfilled needs--holes-- of things like love, worth, acceptance, adequacy 

and security drove all of my relationships. Even though I have been a 

Christian since childhood, I only realized over the past ten years,

 WHO I AM IN CHRIST. He is the only source for getting my needs met.

This unfolding revelation is changing all of my relationships including the

one with Glen. God has been part of every twist and turn. 

My God is able!

Can This Marriage be Saved?

In Genesis 2:24, God says:

“A man shall leave his mother and father and hold fast

to his wife and they shall become one flesh.”

When I began to consider marriage at age 27 I had holes, empty

places, that I thought would be filled by my husband. I honestly

thought that God put two people together because without the other

we could not be complete. Did I read the wrong books; listen to the 

wrong people or was I blind and deaf? I also thought that to 

“be one flesh” was to lose ones individuality. But I also had this idea

that Glen would meet all my needs, fill all my holes and adore me. After 

I got married I thought marriage to my husband was some kind of 

cosmic joke. Perhaps I had married the wrong man! We were as 

different as can be in how we processed information, the number of 

words we had for spending each day, and who we thought was the

most important of the two of us! My Glen was a medical student, was

not interested in filling my holes, wanted a wife who would take care

of him, adore him, and meet his needs.

Can God save this marriage?

Great Book!!!

I just finished reading a book that is centered in WWII. It is the book
assigned by my Book Club for this month--and so timely in terms of
Memorial Day. The title of this #1 New York Times Bestseller is
Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand who authored Seabiscuit. Unbroken
is a story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption. I found myself
angry at how the events of life played out for the protagonist,
Louie Zamperini, but by the end of the book I was able to see the
fingerprints of God from beginning to end.

GOD IS

Yes, there is much anguish as I read through Psalm 22,

but I am amazed at the praise and hope which flows

through the lips of the Son and written down by the Psalmist:

“You are holy

enthroned on the praises of Israel...

I will tell of your Name to my brothers;

in the midst of the congregation I will

praise You.

Praise Him!

For He has not despised or abhorred

the afflictions of the afflicted

And He has not hidden His face

from Me,

but has heard, when I cried to Him.”

I see something here, a principle found throughout the

Psalms. No matter how bad the situation, the Psalmist

almost always includes praise, often at the beginning but

also at the end. When I am able to speak the truth about God,

I find lightness even when nothing is moving.

GOD IS. He is present.

And that, dear reader, is the way out of darkness 

when every door is closed.

NEW STORY

Check out Mimi in the story section of the website:
www.hisvictoriousindwelling.com

Psalm 22

Surely David is amazed by what he wrote the day Psalm 22 was

penned. One writer I know writes that all the words of scripture

were spoken by the Father to the Son and by the Son to the Father

before time!

So, here we are centuries before Jesus goes to the cross, and yet

the cry goes up to the Father--in the present tense. But then, God

dwells outside of time. I picture them standing together where the 

Lamb lies dead before the foundation of the world. While at the 

same time, they watch Jesus as He is being crucified.

The Father has his arm around His Son, 

holding Him fast 

as Jesus watches and speaks:

“My God, My God, WHY have you forsaken Me?

WHY are you, my dearest Papa, so far from seeing

me, even deaf to the words of my anguish? I cry to You

but all I hear is the echo of an empty room. I find no

rest day or night. I am like a worm; not even a man.

I am scorned by men and despised. You, Papa, were

there at my birth and I trusted You back then. You

were my God from that point on.

Oh, God, be not far from me, for trouble is near

AND THERE IS NO ONE TO HELP!”

Ps 22:1,2,6,9,10,11 loose translation by Jane

Papa, as I meditate on this scene I am amazed by the

anguish expressed by my Lord. The whole picture is

beyond my understanding. As the day progresses 

something begins to happen and I think us as your kids. 

Groaning in the agony of circumstances does NOT 

mean I don’t have faith. I can fully express my emotions 

to You without denying my trust in You. How often I have 

stuffed down my emotions fearful of Your displeasure. 

I have the freedom to ask why...