A Heartbeat Away

The telephone rang on Tuesday afternoon. It was my honey calling to say

that his Meniere’s Disease had flared up again, and he was feeling too dizzy

to drive home. (Miniere’s affects the 8th cranial nerve which controls hearing 

and balance.) I grabbed a snack and headed out into rush hour traffic. When I 

got there he requested that I take him to the ER.   Thunk...   His chest felt tight 

and his pulse was in the 40’s. The hospital was only ten minutes away and they

soon had him hooked up to an EKG. Blood was drawn. He looked drawn. Glen 

did not feel well at all. I was not able to reach any of our friends by telephone.

These moments are pregnant with possibilities. Glen’s Dad and all of the Uncles

had died from Cardio issues. Maybe it was stress from work, or just a Miniere’s 

thing? An ER room is a lonely place.

A decision was made to keep Glen overnight and to do further testing in the morning.

All of his tests came out looking good and I was able to take him home yesterday 

afternoon.

The experience has given me pause. How fragile we are; how suddenly life can

change! Truly, each of us is only a heartbeat away from Eternity.

Wallowing

Yesterday I wallowed. I woke up feeling disconnected and the day was gloomy

and cold. However, when I took Jake for a walk connection happened. A woman

was walking her two small pups and we chatted for fifteen minutes before moving

on. Then I came across a neighbor and friend working in her garden. She took 

a break and gave me a perfect cup of cappuccino. 

Thank you, Papa, for a dog that needs to walk, a lovely woman, a friendly

neighbor and coffee. You tenderly cared for me using four paws and real

people. I would have missed it if I had not sat down with you this morning.

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Above All

Paul continues by saying:

“and ABOVE ALL, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect

harmony.” (Colossians 3:14)

Harmony. I guess I  need to change my comfortable fatigues for 

a silky pale pink dress to go with my dancing slippers!  The 

passage in Corinthians 13 seems so extreme!

Love is patient and kind

Love does not envy or boast

Love is not arrogant or rude

Love does not insist on its own way

Love is not irritable or resentful

Love does not rejoice at wrong doing

Love rejoices with the truth

Love:

Bears all things

Believes all things

Hopes all things

Endures all things.

Jesus bears, hopes, believes, endures all things. He wants me to let go

of justified anger, and allow His love to well up in me at any given moment.

I find these meditations somewhat convicting, especially today when there

was this altercation with my favorite man just as I walked up the stairs to

finish this blog. 

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One Little Phrase...

“...bearing with one another.”

Just one little phrase causes me to pause and reflect. 

Bearing comes from forbearing: “ceasing from or restraining an action;

patience, long suffering.”

It seems to me personally and painfully, that God is not only asking me to

“put up with” the flesh patterns of others, but to cease trying to change those

patterns, and to accept what is. Loooong suffering. Sigh...

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Combat Boots or Dancing Slippers?

Paul says, “Put off or put away, anger, wrath, malice, slander,

and obscene talk. Don’t lie to each other, seeing that you have 

put off the old man with its practices and have put on the new

man, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of 

its creator...Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved,

compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”

Papa says to me:

“Jane let go of your anger. When you came to Christ the old man

died and so did the things you used to do. Now walk in who you 

are. My darling Jane, you are chosen, holy and my beloved one,

so put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience.

Don’t try to work them up. Well, you can try, Jane, but how is that

working for you? Know that I am all these things and I dwell in you.”

“Papa, I am right now your chosen, holy and beloved one? You really

see me this way? I know, you want me to leave my combat boots 

behind and slip into my beautiful pink dancing shoes!”

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Burn the Books!

In view of the previous blog, I want to burn all of my self help

books that leave me guilt ridden and full of shame. “Five steps

here” and “twelve steps there” can never truly change my flesh.

Just give me Jesus. He is my only hope.

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